A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
me + whiskey = a bad person
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
