i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
