Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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