this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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