Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
