WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
