oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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