it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize