i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
