from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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