Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
