Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
