Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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