I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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