Where is the hickey?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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