the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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