so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
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When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.