ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect