Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.