I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.