alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
