Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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