That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
