Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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