this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
