If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
