I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
