he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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