i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
