3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
