So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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