I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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