I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
