Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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