the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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