I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Those nachos came to me in a dream
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
