Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
