the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I yelled at your uterus for you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
