Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
