is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
