There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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