omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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