im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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