oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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