I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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