That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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