Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
