he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
