But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
