Plan B is the new Plan A
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Randomize
