i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
