Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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