Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
