party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
