I heard we made out
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
