shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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