So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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