could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
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Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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