WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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