How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
