Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
