It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
