In the future we'll all be gay
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
